We're here at training in Arizona. There is much I would like to write about, but much of what can be published is limited so sorry. Our posts these next two weeks, will be fairly lacking in details, but I will trying to pass along the gist of the thing. Of course anyone can email or call, or visit when we get back home, and we would love to fill them in as best we can.
Our flights went well today. Cedar did GREAT, and Wes too. Oasis and I had a rough time of it since we are both fighting colds, she cried both flights, and my eardrum tried to burst on both our descents, but that's ok. The neat thing out of it all was Wes saying Niki what can we do about it but pray?.... Right.... Right!! So we prayed, and God kept my eardrum from bursting... now if only I could hear out of it! Lol!!
The hotel is nice and already we had a dinner companion share with us her love for the Muslims, and all that she has done in the states to reach out to them. It was very inspiring considering she was like 60 something, and on her own she went to the nearby mosque and made some friends, and invited one gal to study the 'holy books'... Yep, definitely awe inspiring. As Wes said, well that blow the stereotypes right out of the gate! So true, and one of the things we had been praying for, that we wouldn't be judgemental or close minded to our first impressions... especially me! Thanks again God.
Well the little ones are both zonked out, Cedar in his bed, Oasis in the pack-n-play, and Wes is in bed watching the TV courtesy of Close Captioning... :) This is our life for the next two weeks... Praise God.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
De'nile is a river in Egypt
Well as we prepare to go for training, the myriad of emotions are very overwhelming. Over the weekend it really hit that this is the beginning of the preparations to move overseas. It was an interesting experience, as I found myself capturing moments throughout the weekend. Worshipping at church, and listening to Pastor Steve, or going to graduation. There is so much we will miss over the next two years, and I found myself grieving. I also realized that was ok. The sermon this weekend was on becoming a disciple of Jesus, the cost of following his call. It was perfect for what we have been going through. As Jesus called his disciples, and said "follow me.", many of them were in the midst of living their lives, and yet they put down their tools, left their families, and followed him, almost with out thought to all that they would miss. I don't think God expects us to not care about all that we have done with our lives up to the point He calls us to go, but I do believe He expects and desires obedience, even though the sacrifice may be great. After all He sacrificed the ultimate for us right?
So as I cried at graduation, church, our house, and everywhere in between, I don't believe I was doing anything wrong, I was just releasing the my hearts' sadness, and embracing God's calling to the full scale. I'm sure training over the next two weeks will bring muh more to process through, but now I no longer feel guilty for having the emotion in the first place.
We'll be gone for two weeks, but we should have wireless at the hotel, so hopefully I will be able to post while we are there.
So as I cried at graduation, church, our house, and everywhere in between, I don't believe I was doing anything wrong, I was just releasing the my hearts' sadness, and embracing God's calling to the full scale. I'm sure training over the next two weeks will bring muh more to process through, but now I no longer feel guilty for having the emotion in the first place.
We'll be gone for two weeks, but we should have wireless at the hotel, so hopefully I will be able to post while we are there.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
.... God provides
Why do we doubt the ability of the Creator of the Universe to provide a few measly dollars? Ahhh, it's a mystery, but I write tonight to say thanks for all of you have partnered us in this journey, and to say we have currently recieved 2300 out of 3000 necessary for our candidate school, and this we find out after purchasing our plane tickets 'in good faith'. Well shucks Lord, you caught us doubting again, but still you provide!
Our flight plan is a little crazy, but hopefully all will go well. Our tickets ended up costing 1050. Can I just sidetrack for a moment and ask how does one pack for two weeks in a hotel with two little ones when we have to provide everything.... yep pack-n-play, carseats the whole shabang!! Oh man its going to be a circus getting to our connecting flight with all our various stuff!! Aw well, people didn't always have these modern 'conveniences'.
So in preparation we are working on finishing up some more of our prep work, and checking out our packing lists etc. I'm excited. If you could pray for us and the journey ahead, literally the two weeks in Phoenix, I worry for the kids, and us as well. I mean hotel rooms aren't that big, and well I don't like my kids that much to be so close to them for two weeks!! I love them, I just don't like to spend all my time with them right on top of me! All this time I have been looking forward to having the time with Wes, and I so joyfully say I am looking forward to two weeks with him, and he says "not me, that's a long time." WHAT!! He laughs and says well we never do well in that kind of setting... dang it, I hate it when he's right, but I'll just be naive and think we're newlyweds going on a vacation with baggage, pack-n-plays, carseats, two kids, and the emotional upheaval candidate school is sure to provide! Eh, what's life if not interesting!
These prep studies have been really encouraging for me. I can't speak for Wes, but often God has provided the material to minister to me as I am in the midst of the battle. I have found myself quite humbled the last three weeks, with the amount of study and time with my Savior, and how He has revealed Himself through it all, and how much He has ministered to hidden areas of my heart. Too bad we all didn't have to do this on a regular basis, I think we would find less people complaining about life in general! I guess there's some truth to have daily time in the word with God after all!
Our flight plan is a little crazy, but hopefully all will go well. Our tickets ended up costing 1050. Can I just sidetrack for a moment and ask how does one pack for two weeks in a hotel with two little ones when we have to provide everything.... yep pack-n-play, carseats the whole shabang!! Oh man its going to be a circus getting to our connecting flight with all our various stuff!! Aw well, people didn't always have these modern 'conveniences'.
So in preparation we are working on finishing up some more of our prep work, and checking out our packing lists etc. I'm excited. If you could pray for us and the journey ahead, literally the two weeks in Phoenix, I worry for the kids, and us as well. I mean hotel rooms aren't that big, and well I don't like my kids that much to be so close to them for two weeks!! I love them, I just don't like to spend all my time with them right on top of me! All this time I have been looking forward to having the time with Wes, and I so joyfully say I am looking forward to two weeks with him, and he says "not me, that's a long time." WHAT!! He laughs and says well we never do well in that kind of setting... dang it, I hate it when he's right, but I'll just be naive and think we're newlyweds going on a vacation with baggage, pack-n-plays, carseats, two kids, and the emotional upheaval candidate school is sure to provide! Eh, what's life if not interesting!
These prep studies have been really encouraging for me. I can't speak for Wes, but often God has provided the material to minister to me as I am in the midst of the battle. I have found myself quite humbled the last three weeks, with the amount of study and time with my Savior, and how He has revealed Himself through it all, and how much He has ministered to hidden areas of my heart. Too bad we all didn't have to do this on a regular basis, I think we would find less people complaining about life in general! I guess there's some truth to have daily time in the word with God after all!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
John 15:18-20,22
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also....... If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin."
This verse keeps coming into my mind from our weekend. I keep thinking of it in relation to the various reactions we have had since sharing our desire to move overseas. It is hard to realize that while we believe we are doing the will of God, others look at our decision as a direct infraction against our responsibilities as parents, and as adults.
My friend Tori asked me to define the gospel and 'missions'. It was hard to do, but I am glad she asked. Lots of times I don't like to write down what I think because you never know when its going to come back and stare you in the face. If its just a thought in your head, well then no one can call you out on it. Friendship is being an ambassador. Loving others, and meeting their needs, is being an ambassador for Christ. Sharing the gospel through actions as well as words is being an ambassador for Christ. Judging is for God. While I may be asked to judge some circumstances or situations, I will never be asked to judge another person, for I am not God. Culture is not wrong, the heart condition of another can be, but like I told Tori there is no one true culture, and the only one true church in which I believe in is the church of Christ that I seek as a Christ follower. I will worship in a jungle, a mountain top, and if someday it comes to pass a place of worship of another faith (I found myself doing so at the SLC Tabernacle in 2004.), but I will never not worship just because I am in the wrong kind of building or the wrong kind of music, or the wrong kind of message is being delivered. So 'missions' is living out our faith, seeking opportunities to share the hope of Christ, being transparent in our pursuit to run the race unhindered, and doing so in a way so as to not cause another to stumble. But most of all it is our dependence upon God as He is the ONLY one who can lead another to Him. Me? I'm just an earthen vessel.
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also....... If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin."
This verse keeps coming into my mind from our weekend. I keep thinking of it in relation to the various reactions we have had since sharing our desire to move overseas. It is hard to realize that while we believe we are doing the will of God, others look at our decision as a direct infraction against our responsibilities as parents, and as adults.
My friend Tori asked me to define the gospel and 'missions'. It was hard to do, but I am glad she asked. Lots of times I don't like to write down what I think because you never know when its going to come back and stare you in the face. If its just a thought in your head, well then no one can call you out on it. Friendship is being an ambassador. Loving others, and meeting their needs, is being an ambassador for Christ. Sharing the gospel through actions as well as words is being an ambassador for Christ. Judging is for God. While I may be asked to judge some circumstances or situations, I will never be asked to judge another person, for I am not God. Culture is not wrong, the heart condition of another can be, but like I told Tori there is no one true culture, and the only one true church in which I believe in is the church of Christ that I seek as a Christ follower. I will worship in a jungle, a mountain top, and if someday it comes to pass a place of worship of another faith (I found myself doing so at the SLC Tabernacle in 2004.), but I will never not worship just because I am in the wrong kind of building or the wrong kind of music, or the wrong kind of message is being delivered. So 'missions' is living out our faith, seeking opportunities to share the hope of Christ, being transparent in our pursuit to run the race unhindered, and doing so in a way so as to not cause another to stumble. But most of all it is our dependence upon God as He is the ONLY one who can lead another to Him. Me? I'm just an earthen vessel.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Oy, not sure yet what this will say
Trying to think through what to write, and so decided I'm never going to write anything if I don't just sit down and do it. So here goes.....
This weekend a gal and I went on a little retreat. We rented a cabin in Red Lodge, Mt and prepared ourselves for fasting and prayer. The weekend went like this; Wes and the kids dropped me off at Kaitlyn's house, where her mom was making freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. This should have been my first clue that our well intentioned actions to fast were SO not going to happen. I held out for about 20 minutes, but seriously after the third pan emerged from the oven, who could resist? Not me.... scarf... oops one cookie turned into three. As we left Kaitlyn's she mentions that she put some of the cookies in a baggie for us. Right. Fasting, not going to happen. :) Her mom generously gave us some money, so we were able to go out to eat. Again I ask you any self respecting stay at home mom given the opportunity to eat something she didn't cook, and didn't have to clean up afterwards, would you be able to turn that down? Not me. Right fasting totally didn't happen!
Our cabin was great, and Friday night was a night to just unwind. We went for a couple of walks, and oh did I mention we were supposed to have a vow of silence? Oops, that didn't happen either! hehehehe.... We went out to eat at the pizza place in Red Lodge, and then walked back to our cabin and just hung out, prayed some, talked alot and played cards. All in all just what the doctor ordered. I confess to a moment of panic when I realized just how quiet, quiet can be! I'd forgotten over the last three years of young kids screaming, crying, laughing, playing with annoying toys! You get the picture. Oh and the bed was a giant king size thing with down comforter and pillow top, oh yeah!!
We woke up Saturday around eight and I read through John 14-16, and then after a meager breakfast, cause after all what was the point of fasting now? We buckled in for the N----------- half day of prayer. What happened throughout this time was fantastic. Why do we wait for so long to truly commune with God? I thought this over and over through out the morning. We had a great time praying, reading the Bible, and a excerpts from a book a friend gave me. It was fantastic and it all ended with being in the Mountains, journaling and praying for our own lives. During this time it was snowing, and I was in a fleece pullover, the sun was shining, and there wasn't a cloud in sight... pretty awesome fireworks by God just for us :)
Needless to say we had a great time. I wrote my first true poem in three years, and finally felt my self coming back into myself. Hard to explain, but maybe you get it. Obviously through this whole time the biggest thing on my heart is this move overseas, and to be honest with you it wasn't a big focus, because I had such peace about it everytime I tried to bring it back up to God. I mean it seriously went something like this.... Seriously God about this moving overseas.... nothing but peace.... So about moving overseas I was thinking maybe there was something more you had on this... nothing but peace.... hilarious really, I guess He wasn't getting the message, oh wait maybe that was me not getting the message.
Conclusions found this weekend..... you guessed it.... nothing but peace....
This weekend a gal and I went on a little retreat. We rented a cabin in Red Lodge, Mt and prepared ourselves for fasting and prayer. The weekend went like this; Wes and the kids dropped me off at Kaitlyn's house, where her mom was making freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. This should have been my first clue that our well intentioned actions to fast were SO not going to happen. I held out for about 20 minutes, but seriously after the third pan emerged from the oven, who could resist? Not me.... scarf... oops one cookie turned into three. As we left Kaitlyn's she mentions that she put some of the cookies in a baggie for us. Right. Fasting, not going to happen. :) Her mom generously gave us some money, so we were able to go out to eat. Again I ask you any self respecting stay at home mom given the opportunity to eat something she didn't cook, and didn't have to clean up afterwards, would you be able to turn that down? Not me. Right fasting totally didn't happen!
Our cabin was great, and Friday night was a night to just unwind. We went for a couple of walks, and oh did I mention we were supposed to have a vow of silence? Oops, that didn't happen either! hehehehe.... We went out to eat at the pizza place in Red Lodge, and then walked back to our cabin and just hung out, prayed some, talked alot and played cards. All in all just what the doctor ordered. I confess to a moment of panic when I realized just how quiet, quiet can be! I'd forgotten over the last three years of young kids screaming, crying, laughing, playing with annoying toys! You get the picture. Oh and the bed was a giant king size thing with down comforter and pillow top, oh yeah!!
We woke up Saturday around eight and I read through John 14-16, and then after a meager breakfast, cause after all what was the point of fasting now? We buckled in for the N----------- half day of prayer. What happened throughout this time was fantastic. Why do we wait for so long to truly commune with God? I thought this over and over through out the morning. We had a great time praying, reading the Bible, and a excerpts from a book a friend gave me. It was fantastic and it all ended with being in the Mountains, journaling and praying for our own lives. During this time it was snowing, and I was in a fleece pullover, the sun was shining, and there wasn't a cloud in sight... pretty awesome fireworks by God just for us :)
Needless to say we had a great time. I wrote my first true poem in three years, and finally felt my self coming back into myself. Hard to explain, but maybe you get it. Obviously through this whole time the biggest thing on my heart is this move overseas, and to be honest with you it wasn't a big focus, because I had such peace about it everytime I tried to bring it back up to God. I mean it seriously went something like this.... Seriously God about this moving overseas.... nothing but peace.... So about moving overseas I was thinking maybe there was something more you had on this... nothing but peace.... hilarious really, I guess He wasn't getting the message, oh wait maybe that was me not getting the message.
Conclusions found this weekend..... you guessed it.... nothing but peace....
Friday, April 24, 2009
Excerpt from a book we're reading... so true!!
A Vision of the Possible By: Daniel Sinclair
" Lets face it anyone who would leave family and friends; a good job; a home; one's own country, culture, and language; and move to the other side of the world where everything is so different and scary and economically poorer-not to mention hostile to the message-must be a little nuts, right? Numerous other times I have been asked, 'So you guys must really like over there, right?; expecting to hear the affirmative. After all, the reasons for going must be the adventure, the stimuation from other cultures, foreign travel, and the like. Not!
.... There's only one reason to be doing what we're doing: because Christ wants us to. Why? Because He loves all people, not just us. He wants everyone to have the opportunity to know Him-not just those who live in free, comfortable countries."
I liked this as I read it, because I feel like I am having to defend our reasons for going over and over and over! Sometimes I just want to scream, 'Don't you get it? I don't WANT to leave, I don't WANT to learn a new language, I don't WANT to figure out how to cook, shop and even pee all over again!! I don't WANT to, but God is saying He wants us to. So what do I do with that?
" Lets face it anyone who would leave family and friends; a good job; a home; one's own country, culture, and language; and move to the other side of the world where everything is so different and scary and economically poorer-not to mention hostile to the message-must be a little nuts, right? Numerous other times I have been asked, 'So you guys must really like over there, right?; expecting to hear the affirmative. After all, the reasons for going must be the adventure, the stimuation from other cultures, foreign travel, and the like. Not!
.... There's only one reason to be doing what we're doing: because Christ wants us to. Why? Because He loves all people, not just us. He wants everyone to have the opportunity to know Him-not just those who live in free, comfortable countries."
I liked this as I read it, because I feel like I am having to defend our reasons for going over and over and over! Sometimes I just want to scream, 'Don't you get it? I don't WANT to leave, I don't WANT to learn a new language, I don't WANT to figure out how to cook, shop and even pee all over again!! I don't WANT to, but God is saying He wants us to. So what do I do with that?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Idaho, long drive, great conversation, and loved the time outside.
We had a great trip to Idaho this weekend, and surprisingly some really deep and intentional conversations with almost everyone! It was great! I love have real quality time like that, especially when it isn't forced. Side note: It is supposed to be 77 degrees today and I have a sunburn on my neck from branding! Ok now I can focus again, well maybe Oasis is deciding she HAS to be in my lap if I am typing, and the incessant whining is rather convincing me that perhaps its true!!
Well, I guess the big thing that happened this weekend was the opportunity to share with some close friends and family more of what we are thinking, and doing as we pursue going to candidate school in June. Its hard for Wes and I to ask for financial support, I guess its a pride thing.. not sure... anyways, we've written up a letter, and we have about 20 singles/couples we are asking to partner us through this whole process, not just financially, actually that's really not the point at all.... its to show that we really appreciate these people and the impact on our lives. Its interesting to sit down, and take stock of one's friendships and think... who will really committ to going through this journey with us, who will really pray with us, and guide us with God's will as their driving force.... it's a hard thing to do, and very humbling to ask people to do this for us.
I had an opportunity to talk with Wes' brother and mom about us going. It was good to have the lines of communication open. My family for the most part is opposed to us going... at all... and wes' family I think is split. But the real surprise was Calebs open and unlimited amount of support AND understanding. God is really moving his heart right now. Carol is confused about how she feels, but I know her love for us will ultimately lead her to being supportive, even if she is afraid for us and will miss us.
I'm so thankful as I sit here and write for the time we had this weekend, with Chris and Meghan, and Wes' family. It was so encouraging, and refreshing. Ok, Oasis wins... time for a nap anyways, well with one eye open :)
Well, I guess the big thing that happened this weekend was the opportunity to share with some close friends and family more of what we are thinking, and doing as we pursue going to candidate school in June. Its hard for Wes and I to ask for financial support, I guess its a pride thing.. not sure... anyways, we've written up a letter, and we have about 20 singles/couples we are asking to partner us through this whole process, not just financially, actually that's really not the point at all.... its to show that we really appreciate these people and the impact on our lives. Its interesting to sit down, and take stock of one's friendships and think... who will really committ to going through this journey with us, who will really pray with us, and guide us with God's will as their driving force.... it's a hard thing to do, and very humbling to ask people to do this for us.
I had an opportunity to talk with Wes' brother and mom about us going. It was good to have the lines of communication open. My family for the most part is opposed to us going... at all... and wes' family I think is split. But the real surprise was Calebs open and unlimited amount of support AND understanding. God is really moving his heart right now. Carol is confused about how she feels, but I know her love for us will ultimately lead her to being supportive, even if she is afraid for us and will miss us.
I'm so thankful as I sit here and write for the time we had this weekend, with Chris and Meghan, and Wes' family. It was so encouraging, and refreshing. Ok, Oasis wins... time for a nap anyways, well with one eye open :)
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