So much

There has been so much that has been happening in the last few months. Cedar is showing more aptitude for scripture stories, memorizing, and prayer. Oasis is speaking real words and sentences. Wes has been working part time. I have been, well I have been doing what I normally do, but in the midst of several trips within a 3 month span :)

There is so much to share that at times I find myself not posting about our lives, because it is overwhelming for me to write it all down. And then there are times when I know I will only come acrossed as whiney, and so I don't post anything either.

But tonight I can write about a lot with gratitude and praise for the way God has continued to provide for us, and show us His amazing love. I am in awe of His grace today. Wes and I went for a horseback ride, a very cold horseback ride, and I had sometime to think about things. I realized how much God had accomplished in the last 4-6 months. And I realized how deeply He had blessed us besides. There have been so many times in this journey I have let Him down, said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, and been the wrong person, yet because of His grace, I am still in a covenant relationship with Him, because He covered all these sins with His blood, not my good intentions, not because I deserve it, what amazing grace right?

This Sunday the pastor said, "Jesus is bigger than my capacity to understand", and it sparked in me another poem....

Jesus walked with me today
and I wondered what He had to say
Jesus walked with me today
and I was distracted by something from another way
Jesus walked with me today
and I had so much to say
Jesus walked with me today
but my mind wouldn't stay,
with in His presence or focused on Him
the reasons why now seem so dim
So when Jesus walked with me I was sad
because though He walked with me,
I didn't know what I had.


Praise God His mercies are new every morning:)

Is it too much? Nope not with Him on my side holding me up.

A poem I wrote the other day after some time in prayer, after Wes read it he said it was so despondent sounding, and I thought it was the opposite.. lol .... no surprise :)

It is too much what you have asked,

standing alone adrift in this turbulent sea

it is too much what you have asked,

watching the turmoil surrounding me.

It is too much what you have asked,

having faith and being watchful for thee

It is too much what you have asked,

to seek and save the lost lamb

It is too much what you have asked,

to stand bared before the elements seeking that hand

Father you have asked and so you will provide

Father you have aksed and so do not hide

your face from me or the strength of your voice

guide me LORD nearer to the choice

you have chosen already strengthen me to obey

O LORD guide me across the water to the safety of faith

During my prayer time I had this vision of standing adrift the sea during a turbulent storm, and I was scared and alone, wondering why God would ask this of me... and His answer to my cry, and arguements were simply 'have faith'.

Ok, have faith. So easy right? Right, so I wrote this poem to express what I felt and how I doubted Gods' faithfulness. He IS faithful, and so from this time of prayer I really walked away encouraged, I mean atleast He showed me standing on the water, not sinking in it... lol.... so have faith, yes Lord I believe, help my unbelief :)