Vacation Debrief

We've been back from vacation a week today. Since we've come back we've celebrated Thanksgiving, Cedar attempted (and succeeded) to break his nose, tried to start winterizing the house, had two migraines, and Wes hasn't stopped working yet. Fortunately for us neither of us felt like we needed to recover from our vacation because it was truly wonderful. It really was. The kids traveled great (so proud), and we got along with our friends the Jaffe's really well, and even the conference was good. There's so many photographs in my mind that I wish I could describe all of them for you. Sometimes its easier to start from the end and work back towards the beginning but I'll try and keep it in order.
There's always a feeling of freedom when we sit down on the plane and know we are finally leaving. I suppose this is true for any of us headed away from our everyday lives for a short span of fantasy living. But not to be cliche, it's especially true for us. The weeks leading up to our vacation got really stressful, team dynamics, politics, etc. We all were more than ready to get the house in order and get out of here. There's this fear in me right before we leave that I won't want to come back. I mean there's so many days when I am here and I don't want to come back ;). But this time I didn't have that feeling, I just knew we would and that I needed to just be present in this adventure and allow God to speak so that I would be refreshed for what He has in store for us. Wes was the one who struggled this time. It took several days before he 'decompressed'. He continues to struggle to know God is faithful. I keep saying you can't 'know' you have to have 'faith'. It's a hard battle with this lie satan has sold to my husband, but I see Wes become more and more the warrior God has designed him to be, and there were times on this vacation when he did battle and came out victorious!
The start of the trip was typical with two families and 3 three small children traveling together... Chaos! The Jaffe's forgot their credit card, we left our stroller at the first baggage screening, and so on! But eventually we all made it through the various passport and security screenings to do the inevitable before any flight, we waited. Did I mention the three small kids?? Yeah well, in this part of the world don't expect anything to happen on time, including our flight. An hour after we were supposed to depart they started to show signs that we would maybe get on our plane today, eventually we did and poor Adelynn just cried and cried for the first 1 1/2 of the flight. Eventually I went back helped our friends out and she feel asleep on my shoulder. It was one of those pictures I was telling you about. (I remember traveling with Cedar when I was 7 months pregnant with Oasis, and he cried and cried and I was all alone, it was such a hard time for me, and remember 7 months pregnant for me is like 11 months pregnant for anyone else... I GET HUGE!! lol) Anyways, I was bouncing Addy and praying for our trip when I realized I wasn't alone, and what I mean is that if one of my kids were crying and I was hugely pregnant and all alone on an airplane I wouldn't feel alone anymore. That's confusing sorry, all I'm saying is that the last 10 months have show me the truth of 'We are never alone', I've struggled so much, spent so much time isolated in our house, but the loneliness has lifted because I know He is with me.
We made it to Antalya our next day (I forgot my 300$ nightguard at our hotel in Istanbul, but later got it the day we flew out back to S---ly.) and we were so blessed by this hotel. It was huge, right on the beach, and it was beautiful. We got our room, which they had upgraded for free, and immediately changed into our swim wear to go exploring. This is my next picture, watching the kids be so free, so happy, so un-inhibited, that was the moment I finally released the last few months. I've worried about them so much. This life is hard on them, I knew coming into it, I know it now, and contrary to what some people may think I love my kids and suffer when they suffer, I think even more, so seeing them in the sand, playing with the waves, and Cedars' face when he came out of the water and realized it was salty!! Priceless moment. But what God showed me was He desires me to be this way all the time, and through that I can free my kids to live this way all the time. We don't have to escape our current culture in order for them to know joy in living, but Mommy needs to emulate it more for them. He also showed me, "They're ok". They're not broken, they're not in need of intensive counseling, they've weathered all this really well, and Wes and I are doing a good job helping them process it all. We even talk about those sticky things called, emotions! Hey don't laugh, its a big step for my husband! :) We spent 5 wonderful days walking the beach, I even went for a run, we looked for seashells, went out to a fancy dinner while the kids were sleeping (don't worry the fancy restaurant was at our hotel, 2 min from our room), we played in a Turkish hammam, our kids were pretty good at giving us 'turkish baths', we swam a ton, and even got a tan. But most of all we interacted. We didn't take any computers, our phones didn't work, and we had nothing to distract us, so we were just us, our family of four. The kids were on such great behavior, except maybe with the temptation of the elevator, but they were so entertained and outdoors everyday. (That is something about our life here I was I could change for them, but until they are a little older I'm not sure how to rectify it for them.) It was a wonderful time with them as much as it was to be with Wes, to hold his hand, to have him put his arm around me as we walked, or maybe even sin of all sins kiss me in public! We took a lot of pictures with our camera, and so many of them are of the kids, it was impossible to not be struck by their joy and their faces each day. Cedar REALLY loves to dig, and he misses his sandbox so very much, so to have a hug sandbox we knew was going to be a blast for him and it was. It took a while to get used to being in 'civilization' again. I kept forgetting to flush the toilet paper, or when the lights were off I just though we didn't have power instead of thinking, "umm maybe I just need to flip the switch and they'll turn on!". I guess our time in Antalya could best be described as therapeutic, restorative, and unifying.
I'll do the other half of our trip another time, I'm gonna go up on our roof and have some time with God. Today is my day without kids in the morning, and I desperately need some alone time with Him, breathing in some fresh air. So I'll get to the other half maybe Thursday morning when I don't have any kids again. :) Blessings on each of you, you are missed deeply.

Vacation Time Vacation Time!

We're headed out today! Praise God!! I was so excited I woke up and GOT up at 6:30 this morning! I came downstairs and did the 'we're going on vacation song and dance' and my husband just looked at me with grumpy eyes. Uh oh! Well I did a repeat performance for Cedar when he got up and he looked at me with excitement in his eyes and said, "Mommy I like that song!"... NOW we're talking! Yummy food, normal clothes, ability to just be me, go for a run, take a walk ANY time of the day and not care about it, no cooking, no cleaning, and... SALAD! Oh gosh I am so excited to have some time off and away! We received a package last night and in the package was a card, the package and letter are from a lady in Rodneys' Sunday School Class he teaches (wes' dad). She wrote the nicest note saying as how the Lord had really put us on her heart, and she has a brother and sister-in-law who have lived over 'here' for the last 5 years and fall and Christmas were always the hardest times. It's true so far for me! She sent some 'fall leaves' for decorating and pumpkin pie fixings, and this neat old Magazine with poems and stories about the fall and the holiday season. It was very encouraging, and very touching how God spoke to her to encourage us. That's really the theme of our lives since we moved over here, its such a blessing to see how God uses people, people we don't know and do know, to encourage us. He speaks in such a clear way when we are looking for Him to, and He does it often. I'm looking forward to this vacation but I'm also glad I'm doing so in a different way than I did our last one. I feel so releases from whatever was 'riding our spirit' before our last vacation, I think Wes may be struggling a little still though. I told him last night, even when I know there's this sadness inside of me that I'm not quite dealing with there's also this wall of faith surrounding my heart too. And when I start to feel like I am or should be sliding into that great sadness I hit the wall of faith, and like a trampoline it bounces me back up to where I should be. I guess its perspective or I guess its just the gift God is giving me right now, but either way I continue to be amazed at the depths my faith grows while we are here. I'm not the most righteous person I know, but I guess that's what I'm learning, that isn't important because Christ is, He's the most righteous and He lives in me, He is my new self, and I am free to become like Him. So Praise God! And Praise God for vacations! And praise God for people who are obedient to His 'prodding'.