Mommy Paranoia

So occasionally it happens, I get paranoid about the kids.
This weekend Wes took them to this blackberry 'patch' he found while scouting out some climbing options. I didn't go because
1.)Anyone who knows Wes knows how his 'scouting' trips go.
2.)It's still snake season.
3.)I was really needing some alone time.
Those are enough reasons for me. Anyways so they went they found, they picked, and sure enough there's enough maybe for a small pie this Thanksgiving. Oh well they had fun. Not long after they were home I noticed Cedar scratching at his ear, then I noticed some red blotches on his ear and neck, and then I noticed Oasis also getting red blotches. So I start peppering Wes with questions...
'Were you with them the whole time?'
'Did you see any poison ivy or anything?'
'Well did Cedar get berries on his ear?'
'Was there bugs or no?'
Wes' usual vague replies sent me over the edge and I started looking for signs of allergic reaction. Keep in mind our kids are pretty tough, and they don't really have reactions to anything. I start listening to their chest, checking for more hives or anything. Then I start spiraling.
'I hate this country!'
'How are we going to find a doctor to deal with this?'
'Is there a doctor to deal with this?'
'Will they even be there since its Ramadan and its the middle of the day?'
'I'm not qualified to deal with these things, when I became a mom I didn't get a MD too!'
and blah blah blah, wah wah wah the thoughts went! Bwahaha... classic Niki.
Moral of the story, they used our interns sunscreen and had a little reaction, it was gone the next morning when they woke up!

Thoughts on childhood

So part of our assignment for that book we're working through 'How We Love' is to sit down and write a letter to our parents about how we felt as kids. We're supposed to use 'soul words' to describe our relationship with out them. It's really gotten me to thinking about my life as a parent and how my kids feel about our relationship with each other. It also made me realize my parents had to feel as tired and burned out as we do. My mom worked a full time job, and my dad worked in a factory or with his hands, always tired out and worn out. He used to make me take his work boots (leather, steel toe) off his feet, and his socks! What kind of abuse is that? Yet when I think about it, it makes me smile. I guess its the little ways we let our kids into our lives that helps us feel connected. So, I should probably let them dump the flour into the batch of whatever I'm cooking, 'wash' the dishes which really means the floor, the front of the cupboard and anything else within a 2 foot radius, I suppose it means letting them interrupt me for the twentieth time while I'm just trying to pee, and I suppose it means I better get my attitude in check cause if these kids are gonna follow Jesus I need to be a better representative of who He is. I'm pretty sure He doesn't get irritated or aggravated by my 220 petty interruptions through out the day... and night.

Maggies Wedding.

This last weekend Wes' sister got married on Saturday. We found out the wedding was August 7th at 7:30 AM, when they got engaged about three to four weeks ago. We scrambled around and tried our best to buy tickets, I prayed so hard, but to no avail. The tickets plus other expenses totaled over 7 thousand dollars.
Recently I finished the book "Same kind of different as me" which my friend Rachel gave me for my birthday! (Thanks Rach) I loved the book. It's hard to accept but there are some really great life lessons to walk away with from this book.
Sometimes we pray with out ceasing, asking for God to answers our prayers, sometimes we pray the right way, we do the right things, and still the outcome is not what we would desire. We didn't get to go to Maggie's wedding, and the author of the book lost his wife to cancer. How do they relate? Well sometimes we desire something that in our minds could only be good, yet God in His wisdom and rightful power does not allow us to have it that way. I battle with this so much. A good friend is battling cancer back in the US right now, and I just can't stop thinking/praying for her, but how do we pray? I've read books, I've studied God's word and yet this continues to be a puzzling issue for me. Was it wrong to pray for God to provide a way for us to go to her wedding, is it wrong to pray for the healing of a loved one, is it wrong to pray that our life would be easier, or that our children would be better behaved? There's so many things we pray for each and everyday, the only thing I think is correct to pray is the Praise of God. Because indefinitely it will always be right to honor Him, and give Him glory. So that's what I've been doing for the last 5 weeks or 6 months, praising Him, honoring Him, giving Him glory. I still cry and I still regret the heartache I am battling with, but I know what is right. What is right, is what right now, feels wrong. Praise God.