Why I'm So Blessed

These last few months have been so difficult I confess to wanting to throw in the towel, literally on my WHOLE life. But I kept pressing through seeking Faith, seeking Hope, and seeking Strength. In the end I don't know how I'll feel, but right now in the middle of the journey I feel tired, guilty and oddly joyful.
The other day I was getting really discouraged again and I woke up not wanting to try and push through the pain anymore, but I was motivated to go to my Kurdish class since I give a ride to three other gals. I went and I struggled through the class (migraine or no migraine its always a struggle in the morning ;), and then it was coffee time after class. It was a group of maybe 5-6 girls sitting around and chatting. Somehow the subject of how Wes and I met and married came up. I LOVE our story, its so timeless and so romantic, and anytime I can tell our story I just gush as I do so. This time it was special cause there was a gal in our group who isn't a follower and really the story of how I came to fall in love and marry my husband is one of the best witnesses of Christs' love and grace in my life. So I proceeded to share it with them. There's the usual 'ahhh's' and so forth but then the ONE girl asked, were you a believer then when you met? The answer is complicated and yet so perfectly cultural... Yes and No. Yes I believed and had a faith, but NO I wasn't walking with Jesus. When I met Wes he was so much more sure of his salvation, so convicted in his walk with God, he gave me the confidence and strength and yes discipline I had been lacking in my life. She asked a few more questions that were so insightful and really directed the conversation FOR me. God is so amazing. So I left encouraged that at least today I had done something other than suffer through my own misery and feel sorry for myself.
When I got home, I realized the kitchen was cleaned. And not just cleaned like Wes does it, but clean like I do it :) I was so encouraged by this act of kindness and service by my husband that I was smiling when I went upstairs to go to the bathroom... That's when I saw our bedroom. Now I should interject at this point that I like things mostly neat and tidy, but the more I am struggling with life the crazier my bedroom becomes, so can you imagine the mess that was our bedroom after the last few months we have had!! That's right I hadn't put any of my clothes away in a long time, trash was on the floor, books were strewn everywhere, kids toys, clean clothes, dirty clothes, dirty sheets on the bed... Well when I looked into our bedroom (the symbol of all the ways I have been failing my family, God and friends) it was spotless. I mean spotless! Clean sheets on the bed, you can see the entire floor ( our bedroom is HUGE), end tables cleared off and arranged nicely, spotless. I was so encouraged and so overcome with love for my husband. It's so hard to let him help me in this way, not in the cleaning part of it, but to know I need him to help me and let him do so. When I don't need him to of course I get irritated that he doesn't, but its when I need him to that he always does. Confusing... yep... but it is my reality. I'm very blessed and he's only one of the many reasons but right now he's the biggest next to Christ.

The end results :)