Well, we've decided to head back to the states for a needed break, and to get some medical attention for my head, literally not mentally. Although come to think about it, we'll probably need some mental attention too ;)
One word to describe how we feel... Conflicted.
In a lot of ways we've fought tooth and nail to have this become 'home' in the last 14 months. So it feels a little like abandonment.
Trying to think of it as just taking our scheduled break 6 months early, but its hard to really believe myself. :) Looking at it non-emotionally in the midst of this awful dust storm we're in right now (seriously I can't see to the end of our street) I see it as God's way of providing for us to not have to suffer through another ridiculously hot summer, be away and get a much needed break while our 'team' is all over the place, give our families a much needed time together with us and the kids especially, and I guess just take stock of the damage/benefitting we've had from the last year and a half of our lives.
My main goal for while we're home is, get to a place of understanding contentment in my heart. Why do I struggle with it so much? Time for some deep digging and I'm not gonna shy away from the hard hurtful stuff either. Time to root up and get rid of this terrible foothold I've been in-advertantly giving the enemy for a long time now.
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Nikki-
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how much you have been through this last year or so. I feel so horrible that you have had to deal with your headaches for long. It sounds like you are making the right decision to come home and get some medical attention. We will be praying for you.
I have also felt impressed to share with you something that I know was nothing short of a miracle in my life. About four years ago, I started dealing with some medical issues that I couldn't get to the bottom of, no matter how many doctors I went to. After about 9 months of praying every day and doing everything medically we could and still finding no answers, Roger said that he felt that we should do two days of fasting and praying. We fasted one day and then fasted again two days later. It wasn't until then that I started feeling like I was on my way to healing. I know that praying is so powerful, but when included with fasting, I have witnessed many miracles.
Our thoughts and prayers will be with you, hoping that you find the answers that you are looking for.
Love,
Annie
thanks so much Annie, I give Praise along with you that God was able to intervene and heal you to reveal His glory. God is so awesome and gracious! We've fasted and prayed and realize God could heal me at anytime if He chooses and also realize there are times when His plan is much greater than we understand. We're committed to giving Him glory no matter our circumstances, but it is so encouraging to hear of His hand of Healing moving and doing today! Thanks so much for sharing that! :) Much love to you and Roger and the kids! In Him, Niki
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