So blessed, so full... its time.

Well, we've said our goodbyes to Billings, and Montana. It was much harder than I anticipated and triggered some rather unusual emotional fireworks. I can say I am officially comfortable not apologizing for my tears, and showing the fullness of love in my heart. At times like these I suppose there are little words to express all that goes on. When I sit back and think on the last 6 months I am overcome, not with anxiety, worry, or depression, but with such a feeling of being blessed. Its as if we just walked from the storm, and realized the whole time we were held in the eye of it, instead of having to tread the full impact of its fury.
This Sunday it was as if (once again) God used the service to speak right to me. The early service was so rich with promises, and assurances. I was sitting there with Cedar, Oasis and Wes when we started to sing one of my favorite hymns, which of course I can't remember right now... lack of sleep, over crying, and general emotional overload equals brain dead!!... anyways, I was reading through while others were singing, and it talks about experiencing God in the woods and forest glades, on top of the mountain grandeur, and my heart bursted with all the times I had sat in the presence of the Maker midst His glorious creation, and I thought will I feel that again, will I feel the wind brushing up over the mountain peak gracing my face as it trips down again, will I smell that sweet smell of untouched land full of wildflowers and mercy, will I again hear the birds singing their song of praise trying to match it with the melody of my heart? I know someday I will, perhaps in the Alps, perhaps in Ireland, but I do grieve that it won't be in the mountains of home. And that is just it, this is home for my heart. I seek to find Jesus as my resting place, and I believe He is, but I suppose we all have a 'place' that our souls rest with identification, and that is here for me, the west. I can't say as I am made for this land, I am not generally hard working, I am not tough to the point of shoe leather, and I often don't get the jokes about the cattle and the dog, or the horse and the shoe, but I resonate with it just the same.
A friend told me once that just because a friendship dies away, doesn't mean it died, it just rests for a little while to be picked up again when its full of new potential... I suppose that is how I feel about home, just because we are leaving doesn't make this any less home for me, but for a time it will rest from my heart and soul, only to be picked up again someday full of new potential.
So here's to new potential, and here's to Jesus being our resting place, eternal, today, and always full of potential....